You know, lately it’s just been me trying to figure out what the right thing to do is and frankly I have no fucking idea what to do.
I’ve been told several times that I interpret things differently. I over think, over analyze, and twist things into negative thoughts and I understand that.
And the shittiest part is, is that I’m making problems for myself. And yet people around me are dealing with problems far greater and difficult than mine.
It’s been so difficult for me to just BE me. Because I’ve been told so many times that I don’t have proper emotions and reactions to things.
I feel completely lost. My best friend is concentrated on her studies and right now i really fucking need her. Not want, but need. I need her support, I need her to be there. And she can’t be there for me right now. And I haven’t been okay because of it. Because honestly it feels like she’s the only person in this world who genuinely cares about me. And feeling like I’m losing that has been absolutely terrible.
I know I have a lot of other friends who care about me. But everyone knows that sometimes, you just really need one type of caring and emotion from one person sometimes.
And will I tell her this? Of course not. Because this is probably my anxiety, because this is probably wrong.